Reflective essay-Treasure Our Lives

If it has not happened, I would never realize what the unfortunate illness would change a family’s life. “Your dad had heart attack, fortunately he was sent to hospital soon enough that the thrombus hasn’t been through his heart.”
That was what the doctor had told us when the first time I had heard something about the unfamiliar words “heart attack”. The terrible, irritate hospital smell was popped up from my childhood memory. It has been a place that I was used be so afraid of.
Dad was lying in the hospital bed. Needle of the drip was stabbing deeply in his blood vessel. A green dot was jumping on the screen irregularly. My sister asked me what that was, I told her it’s connected to dad’s heart. She started crying, dad was trying to move his arm to hug my sister, but he couldn’t. Maybe she didn’t understand what was going on, but I knew, the expression didn’t belong to dad, ashamed and weak. “Dad...dad....” all the words had lost, I even forgot to coax my sister for stop crying. Tears started running at the moment I saw my dad after his first heart surgery.

Especially my mom, she couldn’t get any good sleep in those days when my dad was in the hospital. She called my uncle almost everyday who is a traditional Chinese physician. Although those things my uncle had told her weren’t all helpful for my dad’s situation, she still tried to find the ways to make things better.

“cholesterol 25......” “No, we can’t buy it because there is too much cholesterol; you know it’s not good for your dad.”
“Fat 46....” “No, not this one, your dad should be on diet. So do us. Well, I think we can take this one, see, sugar and fat free.....”
Buying food with mom is one of the things that started giving me headache. Diet coke tastes weird; broccoli, carrots, and lettuce are the things my mom must buy when she goes to market. Especially with dad, he quit buying the ice cream that he used to get for us. $89.00, dad asked me to pick up his medicine at pharmacy for quit smoking, which was used to spend on his “Marlboro”. Mrs. Liu just mailed us a new health insurance plan; mom and dad would start spending so much more on insurance instead of other things.

The year after my dad had heart attack, I stay home with my sister for most of the time. It was because mom has to work extra hours after we received the bill from hospital. There was no more jokes could hear from dad every night at dinner time, my sister felt asleep in my arm while waiting for mom gets home. I felt I got more responsibilities than any other time in my life. Shadow of the illness started to influence our family, furthermore everything has turned out to be so unfamiliar than what I’ve known.

I still cannot figure out what the flowers call that mom always buys, their stems are long and thick, and all flowers are showing their expressions with the colorful petals, full of vitality. Mom has told me once it can bring us a better mood that well balanced. There is a plant hanging on the ceiling, by my mom’s meticulously care, green large leaves have even grew out from the flowerpot. She bought it from one of the Chinese market; they told her it can produce oxygen, better to have it in the house, although I still can’t feel any changes that the plant has brought us. Sometimes leaves falling off from up there, it becomes my job to clean them off from carpet. Be healthier, that’s what mom wants our lives to be, eat healthier, live healthier.
Dad was a softball coach when he was young; he always tells us he wants my sister to become a softball player when she grows up. In the summer, he spends most of the free time with her in the backyard; although my sister is only six, but she can catch almost all balls that dad throws to her. At that moment, the relieve smile appears on dad’s face. It’s fun to watch you play with dad, but mom usually stands behind and yelling to dad “be careful” or “don’t run too fast”. At that time, I think my sister switched the role with dad; mom cares about dad like a six-year old, afraid of any injury.
Dad has become oversensitive about me. The grades I make in college, even the friends I hang around with. I still remember that night I came home late, that was the first time dad got mad at me because I told him I will be home by 2 o’clock, but actually I came home at 3. I knew he was just worried about my safety at the late night, although I just went to an old friend’s birthday party. “You should be careful, what about if your car broke down on the street at this late night? Dad can’t together with you forever......” forever, this is the word always promotes my tears. I have never thought about the life without dad, or even only imagine it. “Can’t together with me forever.....” all my vessels were tight together, “what would the life be if without dad....”
Lives are precious, but no one knows what would happen tomorrow. “Take serious about your life; be grateful for having a health happy life.” That’s what we realized after dad’s heart attack.
Dad is planning to have a trip to Georgia in the summer, everyone gets so excited, that’s something we haven’t done long time since then. “We should enjoy our lives.” That’s what dad always says.